Five reasons not to drink and sew!

don't drink and sew

You don’t drink and drive, clearly. There’s a reason you’re not supposed to operate ‘heavy machinery’ while intoxicated. Well, it turns out that you shouldn’t use a sewing machine after drinking half a bottle of bubbly. I learnt this the hard way. As a public service announcement, here’s why you should not drink and sew!

1. You can’t cut straight

I was whipping up a library bag for my biggest lad’s first day at Kindy. I needed to cut two rectangles. Easy, right? Turns out it is a legitimate challenge after guzzling half a bottle of sparkling wine.

2. Threading a needle becomes impossible

It’s tricky enough threading the tiny eye of the needle on a sewing machine. When your eyes won’t focus on that tiny hole, it becomes impossible. Blurred vision is a sure sign that you should step away from the machine. Yet I carried on.

3. Sharp things!

If you dare to drink and sew, you’ll some how manage to pin yourself while trying to pin your fabric together. Worse, you just about clip yourself while cutting the threads.

4. You drop stuff

Booze makes you clumsy. This means you drop things, like pins. Then you can’t find them, because your vision is blurred and your eyes refuse to focus (see point 2). You then become paranoid about the lost pin and someone (likely a small person) treading on it.

5. You forget to turn the iron off

At some point you’ll drunkenly declare that sewing while tipsy was a bloody stupid idea and give up. Meaning that you don’t give your wonky shaped library bag its final press. This in turn means that you stumble off to bed leaving the iron on. At least you paid the extra cash for an iron that turns itself off.

don't drink and sew
Here’s the evidence – don’t drink and sew!

The moral of this story? Do not drink and sew. Perhaps more precisely don’t drink too excess and sew. I am in fact partial to a gin and tonic while sewing, no harm in that.

Do you have a tipple while sewing, or operating other heavy machinery, like the dishwasher? How’s it turn out for you?

21 thoughts on “Five reasons not to drink and sew!

  1. Too funny! Last week I had a girls night on a Thursday night- Didn’t get home until 2am… Didn’t go to bed until 3am! Why? I was operating heavy machinery! the Washing machine! I went into ‘clear thinking’ mode- realised I would feel terrible the next morning… I did a load of washing, hung it on the clothesline. Made the kids school lunches so I wouldn’t have to the next morning. Scrubbed the kitchen. Sometimes it helps 😉

  2. You know I have about 7 half finished sewing projects on the go – I never thought of DRINKING while sewing! That would make it soooo much more fun!! I usually spend most of my time unpicking!! You did an awesome job if you ask me. I’m paying my friend to finish mine (I got as far as buying the material) because I’m accepting the fact it’s not my forte! xx

    1. Well sewing when you’ve had a few drinks does tend to make you a little less fussy about the details, which can often be a good thing!

  3. Geez I can barely cut straight sober! I’m not bad at sewing for someone who has barely ever done it, but all the attention to detail with cutting and ironing…too hard!

  4. That’s hilarious Claire. Mind you, you did an awesome job of the bag considering you’d downed half a bottle of wine! Meanwhile I have no such excuse for the mess I made of my microwave yesterday when I was trying to cook quinoa – turns out microwaves and I DON’T mix!

  5. Can I add overconfidence to the list? Me: one evening is the perfect amount of time to finish off two little girls’ dresses. Influence of half a bottle of red: but it would be so much more fun to start the new shorts. You can absolutely cut out the pieces, pin, sew and finish in one night having never made shorts before. Outcome: three projects languishing unfinished!

    1. Absolutely Emily! I think overconfidence is the reason I even started after the booze. I love your story, I’ve been there xx

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