Words totally jumbled by potty mouthed toddlers!

words totally jumbled by potty mouthed toddlers

The words butchered by kids just keep on coming! Last week’s post about toddlers adorably and totally mangling words had a great response. Not only do toddlers jumble up words, they accidentally throw the odd swear word around too. My fabulous readers told me brilliant stories of kid’s swearing. Like the family who were considering calling their unborn son Hunter, until the two year old informed them he liked cunter. I think Hunter had to be abandoned. Here’s the sweary version as told by your gorgeous but potty mouthed toddlers. Avert your eyes if you don’t like bad language.

These TV shows should come with a foul language alert

words totally jumbled by potty mouthed toddlers

La La’s big arse band = La La’s Big Brass Band

Holy fuck your ears = Jolly Buccaneers

The fuckin’ troller or the fuckin’ roller = The Fat Controller

Pussy = Percy. The writers of Thomas the Tank Engine have a lot to answer for!

Bugger Me = It wasn’t me. Courtesy of Norman Price on Fireman Sam

Fuckin’ Hell = Funky owl. As sung on Giggle and Hoot

Fuck yourself = Back to yourself! This gem derives from the reversal spell in Ben and Holly, more correctly ‘Silly old Elf, back to yourself’.

Minge turtles = Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Things get dirty in the kitchen

Cock lick = chocolate

Clitoris = liquorice

Cock porn or cock corn = popcorn

Penis butter = Peanut butter

Cheese dick = cheese stick

Ice cocks = ice blocks

Weet dicks = weetbix

Boobies or boobies = blueberries

Even nature isn’t safe from swearing

words totally jumbled by potty mouthed toddlers

Dick = Stick. The ambience at a park is ruined when your child is shouting “look at all the big dicks Mummy”!

Bitch = Fish. Not sure what the poor fish ever did to that kid!

Oh shit = ocean

Head job = hedgehog. “I saw a head job with Grandma”, says the kid. Say what?!? Well actually he saw an echidna, mistaken as a hedgehog, but called a head job. All is not as it first appears!

Crap = crab. Crabs on the beach are so much more acceptable than crap on the beach…

Cockdiles = crocodile

Sing along if you know the words

Uptown fuck you up = Uptown funk.

I’m comin’ at ya like a dark whore = Katy Perry’s Dark Horse

Baa Baa Black shit = Baa Baa Black sheep

The kids keep on cussing

clock photo

Dumb dicks = drumsticks

Pile of shit = pirate ship

Cocks = socks

Cocks = clocks. Anyone been to Kmart lately? They have a lot of big cocks! One lucky Mum had a flashing cock in her bedroom after a power outage.

Fucken knife = fork and knife.

Fuck = truck

Tire fuck = fire truck

Dumb fuck = Dump truck. Geez, not sure what all these kids have against trucks!

Bloody swear house = Bunnings warehouse. I’m with the kids on this one.

Who knew that toddlers could be so innocently potty mouthed? Thanks again to all of those who shared their kids mispronounced words! These are fabulous for a giggle.

Any other sweary mispronunciations to add to the list? Do you have a favourite?

22 thoughts on “Words totally jumbled by potty mouthed toddlers!

  1. Such innocent little things aren’t they 😉 too funny… meanwhile we die of embarrassment as they’re yelling out look mummy a fuck, a fuck!!! (Truck) 🙂 seeing a head job with grandma 😂 That’s gotta be my fav!

  2. In 1972 I taught a little boy with a speech impediment and he called trucks…the word that is in the post…starting with F. Back then it certainly was deemed a swear word but we let him (quietly) get away with it.

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