People tell you lots of stuff when you are a parent. Often unsolicited and based on what the magical “they” say. Some of it you believe, because you desperately want or need it to be true. But the thing is, “they” don’t know your child. Absolutely nothing is certain in this parenting gig. I’ve had blind faith in at least three things “they” told me. Only to be bitter and twisted when those things didn’t eventuate.
“They” don’t know your child – Exhibit A
You’re baby will sleep better when he starts solids “they” said. Wrong! Some babies, perhaps. But not mine. Introducing solids made not an ounce of difference to any of my boy’s night wakings. Or day sleeps! Turns out my boys probably won’t (aren’t!) waking from hunger but because they wanted
to use me as a human dummy the comfort of their mummy.
“They” don’t know your child, or your body, – Exhibit B
Second labours are always shorter, half the length, “they” said. Wrong again, darn it! “They” didn’t factor in things like a much bigger second baby (700 grams bigger) who has got himself stuck in an awkward position. 17+ hours of labour round 1 and round 2. I felt especially ripped off about this.
“They” don’t know your child – Exhibit C
Kindy will make your child tired, dog tired. Really? He will nap after school, “they” said. Umm, wrong. So, so wrong. He’s mentally tired, sure. But his body has energy to burn. He is like a puppy that needs to be taken for a decent run each day. Apparently kindy kids have been nodding off by 7. Ha! 8.30 and he’s still awake in his room, rearranging his books to open a book shop. Of all the things “they” told me, why, oh why, did my child have to ignore that one?
The moral of this story is simple. “They” don’t know your child. “They” might get it right for some kids. Hey, “they” might even be right about the majority of kids. But there is always a kid or two who will fail to conform. Despite the conventional wisdom “they”, those who dish out the parenting advice, don’t know your kid. Remember, take any advice that begins with “they say” with a massive chunk of salt. From experience, believing what that “they say” can sometimes lead to heartache. Or a really grouchy Mummy.
Any parenting advice that “they” have given you that simply hasn’t been right for your child?