Recently our middle lad has been unwell, your standard kid cold. There was an unexpected and fabulous side effect to this. Mr Wallace and I both got to spend one on one time with him. This is a very rare occasion for our middle lad. If there’s a kid that misses out in our family, it’s him. As a parent I worry about the middle lad feeling overlooked, because that is far from the truth. To make sure he knows he is treasured I’ve written an open letter to the middle lad.
Open letter to the middle lad
Darling middle lad,
It must be tough for you as the middle kid. You’re sort of wedged between a demanding and often unreasonable older brother and a mischievous and loud baby brother. You don’t seek as much attention as the other two. There’s no doubt that I spend more time dealing with the trials and tribulations of your brothers. But middle lad, this does not mean you aren’t as important.
You are forgiven for feeling like we neglect you. I can assure you middle lad, you are not loved less than your brothers. The stark reality is though; you do probably get less attention than each of your brothers. That’s because you’re the no-fuss kid, making you the easiest kid to parent. There’s something very special about you, middle lad. You’re kind and considerate, easy-going, quirky, naturally funny and mischievous. You show empathy and consideration towards others that is beyond your years.
Middle lad, sometimes you might feel you are lost among the noise of your brothers. Seemingly overlooked for your trailblazing older brother and your rambunctious younger brother. You are always on my radar though, kiddo. I adore your gregarious, creative, empathetic, generous nature. What’s not to love about a kid that tells me he left half his punnet of blueberries for me?
I wonder about how to carve out more time for you in our already busy days. I lament small things, like how I sneakily remove tags from your new clothes to avoid complaint from your big brother. Am I stealing the buzz of having new things from you to appease your brother? It seems so. Is that fair to you? Of course not. Yet you seem content with your lot in life.
You’re so easy going middle lad that when you place normal kid demands on me, I don’t always respond with a great deal of patience. I unreasonably expect you to be constantly relaxed and easy to please. I’m sorry middle lad that sometimes, when you ask things of me I respond with frustration rather than calmness.
Middle lad, I know it’s confusing when I lump you in as one of the ‘big boys’ one moment and then label you a ‘little kid’ the next. It’s something I do to make my day as a parent simpler. Please don’t feel like you need to grow up fast to keep up with your older brother. Don’t feel like you need to mimic the baby ways of your younger brother. You are a special unique person.
You are a so very loved middle lad. You’re in many ways the glue of the family, the bridge between your brothers. You were the first best friend your older brother had. You little brother, who you lavish with attention, adores you. Your Dad has a certain way of indulging you, and often says to me ‘that kid is too damn cute’.
I’m sure that being the middle child will bode well for you. Perhaps as the middle son you’ll feel less pressure to conform. You’re always waiting around while I deal with a multitude of your brother’s issues, you’re bound to grow into a patient, cooperative guy. You are often stuck trying to appease one of your brothers so you are quickly developing the art of compromise.
Here’s my promise to you, my dear middle lad. I’ll do my best to nurture that quirky, crazy personality of yours and encourage you to pursue your interests. You will always have a special place in my heart.
I’ve got your back middle lad.
Love, Mummy xx
There it is, my first open letter to the middle lad! It’s tough balancing three kids. How do you make sure your children feel loved, especially the middle child, if there is one?