Sometimes I feel like the biggest lad is two different children. One is a charming, delightful street angel. The other is a challenging, disruptive home devil. I’m sure it’s not a calculated thing but some days I am left scratching my head.
The street angel
On Thursday I collected the biggest lad from school. He waved and said good bye to the Principal. She replied ‘oh goodbye my favourite person’. Um, sorry what? Have I picked up the wrong kid?
This kind of thing happens all the time. I’ve lost count of the stuff that random strangers have given him, because he’s sweet and entertaining. We rock up to our local cafe and the owner and barista greet him with high fives. He got a special treat from the educators at vacation care because he was such a well behaved kid. Recently a fellow kindy parent told me the biggest lad seemed to be an “old-soul” and a caring boy. I almost wondered if she was referring to the right kid! The biggest lad has everyone fooled, except his immediate family.
The home devil
The biggest lad has his moments, he can be a real delight at home. But he certainly thinks he rules our house. I’m ashamed to admit that he does, in many ways. Often his responses, to very reasonable requests, are entirely disproportionate. He’s demanding, impatient and disruptive. He’s nearly 6 but will yell, when I am at the other end of the house, “I’m hungry”. He knows I’ll come running to feed him. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around him. Frankly it’s embarrassing. I could go on, but you get the picture. Street angel, home devil. It wears me down.
The quandary of a street angel, home devil
Of course it’s wonderful that people praise the biggest lad. But it’s also downright confusing. It’s frustrating that the biggest lad treats his friends, teachers and strangers better than his brothers and us as his parents. I often wonder why he can’t be kind to us, the people that love and adore him. Why does he always give the best of himself to others? And what am I doing wrong? I wish we saw more of that gentle and loveable kid. Gosh, on the really awful days I wonder why he hates me.
Yet, if pressed, I’d prefer him to be a street angel, home devil than the reverse. He’s great at keeping his cool out and about. There’s rarely a a public tantrum. He obviously has a desire to please his teachers and to be liked by his peers. Being charming, and a little bit clever, will probably serve him well.
Plus, it makes sense, right? Home is safe. He knows that I’ll still love him and he’ll get his needs met, even when he is a right pain in the butt. I’m sure it’s exhausting for him, always being on his absolute best behaviour away from home.
It bugs me though that he can manage his frustrations and listen to instructions at school, or even in public, yet he can’t do the same at home. It also means we feel like we have to get out and about as a family, all of the time. We escape the house because it’s simply easier with the biggest lad, he’s far more manageable!
I’ve no idea how to change my street angel, home devil. Time, I suspect! If you have a street angel, home devil, you are not alone. And I feel your pain. Fun and games, isn’t it?!?
I would love insights on getting my biggest lad to be more of a home angel. Over to you…
Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT